7.26.2007

Let it go

There are some things in life you have control of and some you don't. You can control whether or not to watch television, whether or not to knit, what to wear, your temper. The list of things you can control goes on and on. Then there are the things you can't control. The weather, what other people do or don't do, history and so on and so on. For someone like me, it's harder to come up with things you can't control.

My head knows that's silly. The list of things out of my control is nearly endless. BUT, there's that little thought that keeps jumping in there. You know, "What if I....?"

Right now, there's an issue going on here that I have absolutely no control over. There's not a damn thing I can do about it. All the 'what ifs' bring me to the same conclusion. Let it go. It's either going to work out the way I want it to or not. Nothing I do will change the outcome. We have to just do the best we can and have faith it's going to turn out for the best.

So many times in the course of my life, I've found that it works that way.

When I was very young, we lived in a one bedroom house. With a child that is not a good situation. We went house hunting, found a great three bedroom house in a terrific subdivision. We got an offer on our tiny house and were getting ready to move. The sale of our house fell through. There was no way we could get the larger house. Talk about disappointment! Later we found out that the community sewer treatment plant in the nice subdivision had to be re-built. Every home in the community was assessed $10,000 for their share of the cost. Thank God we didn't live there. We soon found a much nicer house in a closer neighborhood for the same price.

After I was divorced several years ago, I had to move out of the school district we had been in since my son was in kindergarten. He was a senior in high school and had known some of his friends since they were 2 years old. We scraped up the money to get him a junker to be able to finish out the year at his high school. Junkers being what they are, there was a repair bill for about $1000. For a single mom getting minute child support and having just an OK job, this was catastrophic. The day after we get the repair estimate, I get the mail and there's a check for $900+. The attorney who had taken care of the sale of my previous house had miscalculated some costs and it was the amount I'd been underpaid. Repair bill taken care of.

Later, high school being what it was, my son needed quite a bit of money for something school related. The next day in the mail was a check from the phone company. The phone company! I called them and asked why. I was told I'd been over-billed for several months and they owed me this amount. It was almost exactly what my son needed for school.

These are just three examples of things working out that come to mind quickly. You'd think by now I'd understand that if you do the best you can, it will eventually work out. Maybe not the way you think is best. Maybe in ways you don't understand at the time, but as far as long term, they do work out. Wouldn't you think that by now, I'd be able to continue doing the best I can, and as for the rest, just let it go....

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